Working Despite Injury – Someone’s Gotta Pay the Bills, Right?

Returning to work after sustaining an injury, or after having that sometimes much needed break, is not easy. There is no doubt that if you simply pick up the classifieds section of your newspaper and start your job search from there, you are likely to hit some roadblocks that others (the majority) may not experience.

Have no fear! You’ve figured out some excellent side routes to getting stuff done by now and all of that experience with building compensating skills and finding alternatives for getting through the day is going to pay off once you get back into the paid workforce. After getting fairly used to the idea that any kind of physical or mental recovery is going to be hard work, you will be well seasoned for already expecting to put in a little extra effort each day. Here is the good news: there is so much support out there that any previous aversions from businesses to hire you will fade into the past as you discover how much help is available. 

Know what you know and what you like to do. Getting hired, with the fantastic support of the Americans with Disabilities Act to back you up, should be within your reach as long as you aren’t looking for a job that goes completely past your skill set. Example: if before you took time off to heal from your injury, you were a kennel assistant, and you don’t get hired as an astronaut after your injury, you won’t be able to successfully claim discrimination against NASA. The ADA will only support the appropriate accommodations of an employee who qualifies for the position of which he/she is employed/interviewing. But hey, maybe NASA needs dog groomers, you never know!  

For those with the goal of returning to work take a look at how much is available at your fingertips to help you in a successful journey towards a non-discriminating career! Be sure you know what your rights are and what accommodations are available before you set out.

You’ve Got To Believe It To See It

YOU HAVE A GOAL, just like everyone should because we need goals to be productive in our lives. Now really, that’s so simply obvious that it almost doesn’t need to be said. But wait just a minute, there’s more. If we all need goals to help us move forward, what is it that drives those goals forward?

My next few blog articles will be dedicated to answering this question, as it is a topic that has been of interest to me for quite a long time. An article on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog caught my interest back when they first posted it. Number ten in their “10 Things Lucky People Do Differently” tackles one of the biggest points in reaching a goal. This is a phenomenal blog and, as a huge fan, I can’t help but copy and paste one of my favorite excerpts (promise not to make a habit of copy and paste but this one was just so good!):

In all walks of life, positive beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Lucky people believe they CAN be successful.  Studies have shown that a managers’ positive beliefs and expectations in their staff have a profound effect on the productivity and success rate of their staff.  Likewise, managers who believe in themselves motivate the people around them to perform well and believe in themselves as well, while those with poor expectations cause those around them to become despondent and unproductive.

Positive beliefs and high expectations also motivate lucky people to persist even in the face of considerable adversity; which means they eventually reach the finish line as the other contenders walk back to the starting line.

 So you don’t have to be “one of the lucky ones” to reach your goals but thinking positively, and having high expectations will get you closer to the success you are looking so forward to achieving. This is a case of

A Flavorful Fate

Have you ever been disappointed by something during your day that really got to you and made you want to stay late at your own pity party?

You get that brief stare

that could almost cut anything in half for crossing your gaze.

It happened to me a few minutes ago and although I hadn’t scheduled any blogging today, I had to share  one thing I do about disappointment with everybody.

It is pretty funny (funny odd, not exactly laughable) but when I get disappointed about something I was counting on, I can’t help but think about a fortune I got in a fortune cookie in the 90’s. Yes, I still remember it, as it was before I stopped caring too much for the flavor of the actual cookie. So as I  finished chomping on the [at that time] delicious cookie, I read my fortune out loud to my family. This was because, of course, the fortunes that were read to everyone at the table were the ones that come true (according to our own ‘house rules’). And I guess mine came true after all. It said:

“Your future will hold only small disappointments.”

And then, my lucky numbers – which I would have played had I not been so young – were on the back.

This glorious fortune was somewhat of a disappointment in itself. As the youngest child, I had to emit a loud sigh on the short car ride home. “My fortune was depressing!”  But then my Father suggested this great theory that stuck with me all of these years. I think of it every time I’m disappointed about anything.  Let’s see if I can explain it half as well as my well-spoken Father did  for me…

At the time, this fortune was a big disappointment to my young mind in comparison to my sister’s fortune (which had something written on it about a pretty garden. Yes, I know, it is rather creepy that I still remember her fortune too.  Let’s see past that for a minute).  But in comparison to all the personal disappointments in one lifetime, reading this  rectangular note of wisdom, as my dear Dad explained, would become little more than a fleeting moment. We had known a thing or two about major setbacks already in life at this point, as we were still struggling over some major and unexpected hurdles for our family.  He insisted that in ten years or even five years from that day, I wouldn’t even recall going out to Happy Family and that so far, only thirty minutes after getting a gloomy prediction in my cookie, the fortune was correct. It was only a small disappointment.

What would be a big disappointment? That’s mostly relative to the person having the experience. But I can think of a few which would be considered as big disappointments for me at this point in my life:

–       Breaking a bone or getting terribly sick right before a long awaited exotic vacation

–       Missing someone who lives too far away to visit

–       Breaking up with my best friend whom I’ve known longer than any friend I’ve ever had. (That’s actually a recent disappointment of mine but I’ll save the whole story for another time.)

–       Losing a fantastic job

–       Getting robbed (well, I’m sure it would matter more if I currently had more than I do but you know what I mean.)

–       Losing a loved one

–       Getting two kinds of unshakable flu during college finals (true story, it was horrific.)

–       Oh and don’t even mention a hurricane hitting. That’s just an understood at this point. (Fanatic hurricane Ike and Rita hater, right here!) I think that would go into the group of “Huge Disappointments”

So basically, in my life I can narrow down what would be big disappointments to a short list of basic concepts:

–       Deep heartbreak  – losing hold of a cherished friendship or maybe even experiencing the death of a close friend or family member.

–       Loss of security

–       Losing health needed to pursue life goals  – which is rather like loss of security

Anything other than what might fit in those three relatively unlikely categories, for me, are removed from the classification of big disappointment.  For the most part, anything outside of the “big disappointment” group (which would be almost any typical blunder or disturbing event) is considered a small disappointment (in my eyes). Contrary to my original reaction in the 90’s, this as anything but depressing.

My Dad explained it so well that day, I wish I could have recorded it but here’s what I retained from his fatherly wisdom:

Small disappointments help us grow. They also help to enhance the feeling that we get from our accomplishments. If everything we wanted came easily, how would we know what to feel really good about? There’s no way. We wouldn’t know.  When roadblocks get in the way and we need to come up with alternate routes to get back on our paths, the experience we get from struggling through or rethinking our plans strengthens us for the road ahead. The small disappointments make us better people by forcing us to learn  how to leap over them. It’s the big disappointments that can be catastrophic unless it is possible to see them as just a cluster of little obstacles glued together. Overcoming big disappointments is what can either make a person or break them. So you’d better hope that all the little ones have been a good preparation  if/when a big problem hits.

Because of that one fortune, which I found inside its crunchy cookie case one day, I can put those little disenchanting moments – typically discovered on Mondays – into perspective. I think, “Will this affect me five years from now? How about ten years from now?

Usually, I stop there and shrug off the frustration but sometimes, if I say yes to those two questions, I consider my problem even more. “ If this could affect me years from now and impede on my quality of life, could it possibly affect me positively?

Now, occasionally, things do happen and  if there is a big disappointment, working through it can be counted as a personal investment in my future. Self improvement is certainly worth the trouble. If it’s a normal day, thankfully it usually is, and if I only have a slight Homer Simpson moment (Doh’), I think of the fortune cookie and laugh to myself,  thankful for the small disappointments.

Is There Anything Hard Work Can’t Do?

You’ve come this far. Stopping won’t pay off. Hard work will pay off every time though. Recovery can be a real pain sometimes, it can be emotionally taxing. It can hurt too. Your hard work to get further both mentally and physically will be what makes all of that pain you’ve gone through worth the trouble.
If you can learn to build up tolerance for hard work, eventually, you can learn to embrace it for the person it has turned you into.

Fitness training can be for your mind and body. When it comes to recovering from a brain injury or illness, the challenges can feel overwhelming at times. Hard work to get better or to train for a fitness competition can actually bear some striking similarities. This video  rings true for both! Hopefully, it will help motivate you to stare down your fear of the hard work that’s ahead of you.

Watch this video during a tough day to help you keep going. It’s pretty inspiring, I know it got my adrenaline going!

10 Ways To Take Control of Frustration and Reclaim Your Day

Is frustration getting you down? We’ve all been there. It can feel like a big dark cloud over your head that distracts you from doing almost anything right all day. Like a domino effect, one frustration can lead to a dozen too quickly if you’re not careful. Luckily, frustration is little more than an emotion and it doesn’t have to control you.

Take control of your day and follow these tips to help overcome your discomposure:

           1. Do not allow your mind to become fixated on the things that are frustrating you.

2. Remind yourself that you will stay positive today.

 3. Think of something that you are good at and a healthy or productive activity that you enjoy. Get your mind focused  on doing one of those activities to build up momentum for doing something well.

 4. Celebrate your accomplishments by praising yourself on a job well done. 

 5. Get some exercise. Releasing endorphins is the body’s natural way of enhancing your mood. Exercise will help raise your endorphins.

 6. Talk about your frustration with a friend or family member.

 7. Post what frustrates you on a supportive blog like Willpower. Comment below this post, that ‘ll make you feel better. Being a part of Willpower brings cool perks like this and you’ll only hear something nice or supportive in return.

 8. Write about it in a journal. Be proactive, write what you could do to help the issues that are troubling you.

 9. Read or watch something funny.

10. Get a good night of sleep and accept your reality as something that you can control.

What Do You Have The Will To Accomplish?

I think beauty can come in all forms. For example, a healthy will to personally do better can be made beautiful by the persistence that a person invests in their goal. Anyone who believes in something meaningful, or even who strengthens a cause that has value, gets an “A” in my book. My goal is to inspire, motivate… basically suport people who have brain injuries or illness of the central and parietal nervous system. Each day brings on new challenges but staring those challenges down strengthens our willpower to succeed.

I’m currently looking for people to share stories about what challenges them and how they cope.

Fill in the blank:
I have the WILLPOWER to _______________.

Show the Strength of Your WILLPOWER

GETTING INVOLVED MAY BE EASIER THAN YOU THINK – Pick a day each week (I chose Wednesday, and wrote it down to remember) to show the strength of your willpower to help support  brain injury awareness. Being actively aware of a health and safety topic can be great exercise for your brain and might even help lift your spirits as you help with such a big cause.

Luckily, you don’t have to start big to be a big part of this cause. Here are a few small ways to get started with being involved in supporting brain injury awareness:

 Volunteer – Visit VolunteerMatch.org and find an opportunity to volunteer for an organization that helps others with head injury/illness. Once you get to the VolunteerMatch.org website, you can click on the upper left link, “find opportunities” to be sent to a page that will ask for your location. Next, simply type in your city, state, and/or zipcode. If you want, you can type a cause or your interest into the keyword box but you don’t have to. Now, press “search” and you will be shown a list of volunteer opportunities in your area. Pick one that you like and contact them on the phone or fill out an online application and you will be on your way to having a hands on experience with getting involved in a worthy cause. Are you a volunteer? Tell us about what makes your efforts worth your time by commenting below. Your inspirational story may be what it takes to encourage others to make a difference too!

 Sign a petition – Share your point of view while getting people to notice the importance of supporting the cause. Change.org allows you to search for a topic like, “head injury” or “stem cell research”  or “TBI advocacy” to find petitions that people have created to make a difference. Once you find a petition that you feel is important to supporting the cause of your choice, you can sign the petition by entering basic information about yourself. Then, you can send the petition to as many people in your interest group or e-mail list as you feel necessary. When the petition gets enough signatures, you can feel proud that you’ve played a big part by doing a small act. NOTE: before signing any petition, please research it completely so that you know you are  contributing to something that you fully believe needs to be changed. Many petitions are written in a way that only tells one side of the issue. 

Need help? Here is a message that you can send to people you would like to help get involved:

Dear [Name of friend or contact],

I’m working to get people involved with supporting Brain Injury Awareness.  Please help me spread this important message of helping fight for the rights of those affected by head injuries/related illness of all kinds. It would also be greatly appreciated if you could share this message with at least two other people who you feel might like to contribute by signing a petition, donating or volunteering. 

If you would like to continue your involvement in this cause or would like to read more on the topic, please visit and join a growing motivational community at http://www.willpowermentor.wordpress.com

 

Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,

 

[Your Name]

Join a Cause –  Causes.com is a website that allows people to support any cause of their choice, donate money to a cause, or sign a petition and then spread the word to get others involved, as well.

Pledge to Strengthen the Willpower of People with Brain Injuries – The goal of the Willpower Pledge is to get 10,000 people to encourage strength and determination for people recovering from brain injuries and illness, as well as to Support Brain Injury Awareness. Please send this pledge invitation to as many people as you can to be a big part of supporting this cause.

My challenge to you, readers, is to make your one day of involvement each week really count by helping others and/or spreading the word as much as you possibly can. 

Stay Involved with the Willpower Community

Share that you have the willpower  to be actively  responsible for your recovery. Learn as much as you can as often as you can. Getting involved includes constant education on how to better your life but it also means networking to meet the right people to help you along the way. You can join the Willpower Twitter group by going to Twitter.com and Searching @willpowermentor. I’m looking forward to seeing you there!

WHAT’S SO BACKWARDS ABOUT THE WORD “DISABILITY?”

THE BACKWARDS WORD – A disability is an incapacity of some sort. If you have a physical or mental (let’s say) weakness, you are actually in business to go further in life than someone who doesn’t have a similar weakness. So if someone calls you disabled and it rubs you the wrong way because you do not care to be labeled, make a note in your mind that the person who made an unkind comment about you must be pretty bad off.

What makes you luckier than most is that your life has presented you with the great opportunity of a challenge. If you go about it in the right way, it could actually open more doors for you than would typically have been open otherwise.

Hopefully, you are thinking, “this is fantastic news!” though, I know you most likely are thinking quite the opposite. But think about this – with weakness will naturally come strength. More often than not, strengths are revealed when we are at our weakest.

How does that  make sense?

Getting used to a different way of life during and after recovery can really be a downer sometimes. But think about this:

When you are caught in a new situation that requires you to act or express yourself in a different way, you are cultivating a new ability. So, someone who didn’t sustain a major injury or illness, and who isn’t being forced to develop new ways of functioning/interacting with others, is at a severe disadvantage compared to you. That person could easily lack the capacity to understand. What a shame… Now, who’s disabled? Ha!

I joke about this because I’ve lived it, I do every day. I see how the challenges that present themselves in my life make me a better person. I have developed a forgiving understanding for others and a passion for life that I would have never had if my circumstances were easier. When I hear an -unknowing and sometimes unfeeling- stranger look at me strangely or make a hurtful remark, I know it’s because they aren’t as lucky as I am to have been forced to see life in a different way. I have learned to see their inability to cope and understand as the true disability.

5 Tips for Positive Living

 THE SUN WILL COME OUT… TODAY! – Any kind of injury that disrupts the central and peripheral nervous system, like a brain injury, will create lifelong effects. Despite that (pretty negative) fact, every day of life afterwards can still be concentrated on recovery. Sound like an extreme bummer? Don’t let yourself get down about it. Smile that you’re still here to enjoy as much of your life as you can. Find joy in developing yourself each day, some aspects of what happened to you will get better and you can learn to celebrate each step forward no matter how small. A simple attitude change to think positively can make a world of difference that can promote good things to come to you.

Now that you’ve been hurt and you are looking for ways to feel better, try making a new habit. Nothing good can come from feeling sorry for yourself so toss those negative thoughts aside for your own wellbeing and for the outlook of those around you.  Think positively every chance you get and acknowledge each good thought by saying something nice out loud if you can (if it would be inappropriate where you are, thinking it might be a better idea). It may feel strange at first but as you get used to it, you won’t sound like you are forcing it so much after a while. Tossing out the negative thoughts and negative self talk will soon become a new habit and eventually a new lifestyle if you really put your mind to starting the habit first.

Here are 5 ways to start your lifelong sunny disposition:

 1. REMIND YOURSELF OFTEN –  Place a reminder by your bed that says, “Smile!” so that you create a habit of waking up each day with a positive new attitude for what the new day will bring

 2. SWITCH THE THOUGHT FAST –  When you start to think of an undesirable part of your recovery, quickly switch your thought into a good reminder of something you like.

Example: You might be thinking something like: “I don’t want to go to therapy today. What if I can’t do one of the exercises?”

Quick, change that thought: “Therapy is today, I’m going to ask my therapist some questions about healing and I’m going to make this a good day by trying my best!”

        3. ENCOURAGE YOURSELF OFTEN – Say something nice about yourself (to yourself, of course. You don’t want to sound arrogant.) Right when you are about to put yourself down, think about something that you like about yourself. Remind yourself of the great things that you have to offer.

Example: You might be thinking something like: “ I used to be able to do that so much better and faster before I got hurt/sick”

Quick! Change that thought: “ It takes a pretty tough person to stand up to a challenge like that, I know I have what it takes to improve myself because     I am strong.

        4. THINK OF THE UPSIDE –  Say something nice about someone or something (even if you are sure that no one in the world would be able to say something nice in a particularly bad case).

Example: Sure you could complain about the waiter or the restaurant when you go out to eat but saying something nice instead will lighten everyone’s mood.

         5. SHOW LOVE FOR YOURSELF – Be forgiving with your progress and have faith in yourself. Remark on a job well done and share even small successes with people who believe in you. A great place to start celebrating your successes is right here, with the Willpower community. Comment on posts and stories and start reporting your new strengths or accomplishments right here on this blog.  

Understand that every step in your recovery is a step forward even if some you don’t always like them. Try thinking of downsides of recovery as preparation for the positive results that are to come. You can do this, have faith in your inner strength. The more you rise to the challenge of beating the life changing effects of your illness or injury, the more strength you will develop on the inside. Then, eventually, others will notice your incredible attitude and want to encourage your progress.